Housewife

Celebrating International Women's Day 2012. I read this article from The Atlantic and was filled with an urge to write. The resulting piece is as follows:

Housewife

I am a housewife, Sari said. I take care of my husband and children. I have three children. Two sons, she added after a pause, smiling.

Sari's husband was an employee of a state-owned oil corporation. They lived in a two-storey, three-bedroom house with a garage that could fit two cars. Their house was located in one of the suburban development projects outside the metropolitan and it was within easy reach of a hypermall and a wet-market. The children’s school was also close by, just fifteen minutes away. 

Look, Sari said, pointing at a photo of her children. This is Arif, the eldest. He’s in the third-grade now. And this is his brother, Arya, second grade. The little one is Alina, she’s only two. I’m enrolling her in a playgroup next year.

They had one live-in maid who helped Sari with the household. The maid stayed in a small room at the back of the house, near the laundry area. Her job was to cook, to clean the house and to baby sit the children. She worked seven days a week without a day off. Sari paid her eight hundred thousand rupiah a month and she sent most of it to her family.

I got her from an agent I know, Sari said, lowering her voice. Straight from the village. She is a bit too young and doesn’t understand a lot of things, so I have to teach her from the beginning. How old? Sixteen, seventeen I think. The woman I got her from said she is twenty, but you can just tell, can’t you? They all lie, but what to do?

I think she graduated from middle school, but I’m not sure. She can read and write, though. Umi, Umi! Umi, come here. You can read, right? Yes? Okay. Did you pass high school?

Umi said she didn’t go to high school, but she can read and write.

See? Better than most.

Sari had her own car so she could go out by herself. It was a silver Toyota Yaris that her husband got her last year. Every morning she drove her sons to school and later in the afternoon she would pick them up. She also drove to the market with the maid to buy grocery.

I go there every two, three days, she said. I don’t like putting things too long inside the refrigerator. My husband is picky about food. I learned how to make sambal because of him. His mother makes it really spicy and that’s how he likes it.

I also learned how to bake cookies, Sari said, because the other mothers are doing it.

Sari belonged to a group of mothers whose children were in the same school. They met every week for arisan, as the gathering was called. There was a fee of half a million rupiah, which she transferred to the group’s treasurer every 15^th of the month. The money was used to facilitate their meetings in restaurants or cafes.

They’re my friends, she said, and we talk to each other all the time using BBM. She showed me her BlackBerry and the messages she had received through its messenger. There were dozens of on-going conversations at once.

They’re all like me, she said, chuckling, nothing to do! So we talk.

What do I do at home? Well, I watch TV or browse the internet. There’s always something on. I’m following this new sinetron so every evening I have some entertainment. Sometimes I also try new recipes. I guess when the children get bigger, I’ll be busier. They will have extra lessons and all. I’m thinking of putting Arif in an English course. His school is bilingual, but you know, I’m not sure if it’s good enough.

Sari said her husband speaks English and wishes for his children to be proficient in it as well.

It’s the international language, right? Sari said. And I want them to have good education so they don’t lose out to the other kids. It’s all very competitive—when Arya was about to enter elementary school, I had to pay around twenty-five million rupiah alone for the entrance fee. Then his school fee is about a million a month. But my friend Irma got it worse. Her kid’s grades aren’t that good, so she had to pay around thirty million! School these days…

Sari graduated from a local public university, majoring in marketing. She met her husband through a friend’s friend and they got married few months after her graduation.

I never have to work, Sari said. I’m lucky because my husband has a good job. I just attended a reunion with my high school friends. Most of them are married and have kids, but there’s one or two who still haven’t got hitched yet. Well, I tell them to hurry because they’re almost thirty. It’s harder to get married when you’re thirty, you know? Too old. Men don’t like it. Harder to get kids. Besides, if they have a husband, then they’ll have someone to take care of them so they don’t have to worry about bills and such.

Oh, some of my friends are working, of course. Those career women. They always complain about not having enough time with their husbands and kids. Too tired, too busy. Why don’t they just quit their jobs then?

She laughed and shook her head. I just don’t understand, she said.

Sari was planning for a ten-day vacation in Hong Kong during the school break. Her mother-in-law and father-in-law would also come along.

I want to go shopping, she said. At first I wanted to go to Europe, but my husband’s father needs to have his kidney checked so we’re going to Hong Kong instead. I did suggest that if they want to go to a hospital, why don’t they just go to Singapore? It’s closer. But the kids haven’t been to Hong Kong my husband said.

Oh, look at the time. I need to pick up Arif and Arya from school. Umi! Umi! Where is she? She never comes when I call her—oh, there you are. I’m going to pick up the kids. Why is Alina crying? What did you do? Give her something. Anyway, lock the door. I’ll be right back!

When Sari came back half an hour later, she continued where she had left off.

My dreams? Well, I want my kids to be good and always obedient. I hope they won’t forget me when they’re all adults. I want the boys to get good jobs. As for this little missy here, I hope she finds a good husband. Other than that, I don’t really need anything else.

Really. I have everything I want. 

Jakarta,
March 2012